A
Collect for When One is a Miserable Twit
God, you know what a
funk I am in and the causes are not hidden from you. Insofar as it is good for
me, give me insight into those causes and lift me out of this mood I am in, and
grant me the grace not to be a miserable twit; through Jesus Christ my Lord.
Amen.
A Collect for When One has Done Something Stupid
Lord, the Author of all
knowledge, You know exactly what I did, and I’m not fooling you. Forgive me and
give me the grace to do it differently next time, so that I don’t embarrass
myself again; through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.
A
Collect for When One has Had a Great Day
God, the giver of every
good thing, thank You for a great day filled with love and laughter. What more
could I ask than that which You have given? Some days are just too great not to
be repeated. Thanks again in Jesus Name, Amen.
A
Collect for When is Dealing With a Compulsive Talker
Lord God of all patience, what am I
going to do? She never shuts up! Talk, Talk, Talk; and I’m worn to a frazzle!
Lord God, help me to see her as you see her; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
A
Collect for Remembering that God is the Center of All
Lord God, You keep the earth, the moon,
the sun and the stars in their orbits Help me to remember that everything
doesn’t revolve around me, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
A
Collect for a Mid-Day Nap
Almighty, Eternal God,
how do you do it? You are never worn out, and I’m really dead on my feet. Help
me unhook from all the stuff going on around me and take a rest, so that I can
rise again and serve you better; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
A
Collect for When One is Slightly Ridiculous
God, you are sitting in
the heavens and having a good laugh; grant us most graciously to have a sense
of humour about ourselves, that we might truly appreciate the silly side of our
frailty and not be a nuisance to others; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
A
Collect for When One is Taking Things too Personally
Gracious Father, your
perspective is eternal and all encompassing; grant us such a vision of the
immensity and diversity of the world around us, that we might have the grace to
realize when life gets difficult that it’s not all about us and that we aren’t really
all that important; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
A
Collect for When One is Too Serious
Lord Jesus Christ, you
are the Light of lights, shine your light on us so that we can lighten up and
stop taking ourselves and everything else so seriously. We know all too well that there is some
serious stuff out that there, but help us to keep things in perspective. Grant this for sake of your joy. Amen.
A
Collect for When We Think We’re in Control
Oh Lord, you are in
control and we’re not. Help us to so
recognize that truth that we might give ourselves and those around us a break,
and instead rest in trust on your perpetual grace; in the name of the Father
and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
A
Collect for When One is Being a Jerk
Almighty God, you see
the trouble I cause myself and others.
Help me to take seriously the things that I should take seriously and
help me stop playing the fool when I should be doing what you want me to
do. Help me to keep the balance for the
sake of your glory; through Jesus Christ my Lord, who with you and the Holy
Spirit, lives and reigns one God for ever and ever. Amen.
A
Collect for the Other Idiots Out There
Lord God Almighty¸ you know exactly who is
on my mind again. Grant them the grace not to be a nuisance to me and to others;
that way we would all have a lot more peace, and things would go more
smoothly. Which reminds me, also help me
not take their inventory, I have enough trouble with myself; through Jesus
Christ my Lord. Amen.
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